Practice the 5 C's of Parenting
By Robert D. Grupe, Prevention Coordinator
Parenting is perhaps one of the most difficult and complex roles that someone can assume in today's society. The interesting thing is that it seems so simple by definition. A parent's prime directive is to protect their children and provide them with the morals and tools that they will need to become well-adjusted members of the community. Perhaps the toughest question is: How can this be done?
Everyone with children can testify to the fact that they learn primarily by watching and copying the significant people in their lives. For example, a two or three year old walks into the house and says a curse word that they had heard mom or dad use. Someone comments on this and everyone has a good laugh at the child's behavior. To that child this curse word becomes a sure-fire attention getter that can be used at all times EVEN the grocery store and day care group. Does this sound familiar to anyone? This method of learning continues throughout childhood and the teen years by watching care givers like parents, teachers, coaches, neighbors and also friends and classmates at school. So what happens when these care givers are just not sending the child the greatest of messages? A television commercial illustrating this point comes to mind. It portrays an angry father confronting his son about the use of marijuana. The son finally blurts out "You...I learned it from watching you." This is a very sobering case of a child picking up a very harmful and life threatening behavior from watching and acting the same way of the parent. This does not by any means fit into a parent's prime directive to their children. Unfortunately, this does happen all too often.
This learned behavior can also be passed in another way. Drug and alcohol use is sometimes a subject that is not comfortable in the family. Some parents feel that if they don't talk about it then this will not be an issue or "that's not a problem for my kids." The facts point to this startling realization... sometimes it IS your kids. One of the best ways to deal with drugs or any other problem for that matter is through open and honest communication. Communication, commitment, caring, consistency, and cooperation are the five most important tools at a parent's disposal. It is a sad state when a family cannot communicate regarding this topic. Prevention starts at the home and it is never too early in your child's life. The average age of first use is twelve years old. Speaking to your children at an early age about what bothers them can and does help them adjust and grow up to be effective leaders to society.
Here are three suggestions that might help with the parenting process. First, be honest with your children and talk to them about your feelings on drug abuse. Chances are that they really don't know how you feel and this will open a communication that can be used for the providing of important life lessons. Communication is the key to the prevention of drugs and a good moral outlook. Second, it is necessary to be a good role model for your children and be consistent. Children should learn much of their morals from their parents and by providing them with this you stand to reduce the chances of drug and alcohol abuse by large degrees. Perhaps the old phrase of practice what you preach explains it best. Along these lines, if alcohol or drugs are a part of the family life it is your role as parent to get help. Help is available at Heartland Human Services and other self help groups in the community. Do this for your children. Finally, do not be afraid to seek out help in your parenting role. A large amount of resources are available through schools, the health department, and the prevention department at Heartland Human Services. For more information on parenting please call (217) 347-7179. Parenting is a difficult role but the rewards are endless and more fulfilling than anything imaginable.